Merry Cliffmas blares out across Funk Towers, as I find myself fully ensconced in the xxxmas mood, full to the brim of shit adverts reminding me purchases will make me happy, will bring me the love of Mrs Funky that cold wintry magical morning, a bottle of coke will keep the kids merry and Jamie the chirpy little street urchin will ask me how my apple and pears are as I dream of smashing his head against them again and again and again and again
And yet with all this unbridled merriment abounding, the forums seem so sad, full of the Boxing Day sale regrets, 'everything must go, for fucks sake buy it!' , 'I will sell my og for a bag of coal to keep the kid's warm this cold LA night' , 'Sponge Bob raped me and I can't get no recompense'. Where did it go so wrong? There's blood on the urban art market floor and I'm seeing if I can do a longer skid in it than you.
In other Forum related news (you know you want it) a certain Wallkandy tottered back into existence with not so much a fanfare as the waft of a pork pie left at the back of the fridge for the last 2 weeks, you'd forgotten it was there, you didn't want it in the first place and now you've smelt it you realise it was best forgotten. The calls for it's return were deafening, well, the four people who shouted loudly have now gone back to being quiet.
Banksysforum continues it unabaited drop into paralysis, between posters tirelessly promoting friends, giving us remedies to all corporate ills and reminding us of shit music from our youth, all wrapped up in about 5 posts a week - sterling work.
Ha, I too was once raped by sponge-bob no pants. He really is the jekyll and Hyde of the sea, all smiles and tomfoolery until you show a little to much ankle and then he turns nasty. Oh well, it's not all doom and gloom. The mighty wizbong has returned to .info to spout more nonsense about chairs and pies....probably Christmas pies to keep it topical like.
ReplyDeletestreet art is dead is a forum for people to bitch about forums and all that use and read them.
ReplyDeletequite ironic really
I had to check the date there for a min. I think you may have peaked slightly too soon Funky, but nevertheless I predict a boxing day mass cult suicide by Sickly's followers when they at last realise what they've been wanking over all of these years is actually advertising, and that the big ironic joke underpinning it all is on them. Following this there will be the leaked online release of Vandalog and Gaia in a secret bukkake wheatpaste video they made together in a tunnel somewhere beneath New York. Nuart will gather all of his celebrity friends together to do a cover version of "Do they know it's Christmas?" to benefit his latest charity project registered in the Cayman Islands, and Wizbong will finally reveal that he is in fact Mr Kipling.
ReplyDeleteI heard that Remi also features in that bukkake vid...he's the one getting heavily sploshed.
ReplyDeleteMy prediction for Xmas is that Dave the Chimp decides to give in and finally sell out to the capitalist system by releasing a limited edition street art doll of himself. Unfortunately, due to the fact that virtually nobody has ever heard of him, it fails.
Who?
ReplyDeleteNever heard of him...
Vandalog and Gaia bukkake? You are closer to the truth and the truth hurts! Lol...
ReplyDelete"The mighty wizbong has returned to .info "
ReplyDeleteer, what does the ".info" thing stand for? I've seen it in a few other comments but don't have a clue what it means.
Banksy.info, it's like ebay, but for people of a low IQ.
ReplyDeleteah ok, thanks.
ReplyDeletei have seen it before but with a different URL
Their biggest mistake with that new place was in calling it "Banksy's Forum"...that probably alienated many more people than it ever attracted. I'm personally bored to fucking tears of hearing about Banksy.
ReplyDeleteOh c'mon Funky it's not so bad is it? How bout a sing-song to cheer everyone up?
ReplyDeleteWe could give everyone a chance to turn their regrets into a lovely song, and make it into something fun to warm the cockles of our hearts on this grey winter day....it could go a little something like this....
"On the first day of Christmas dot info sold to me,
An unsigned print by Banksy,
On the second day of Christmas dot info sold to me,
Two Eine carebears and an unsigned print by Banksy
Try and keep all your 'purchase regrets' within the rhythm and style of the original carol (sing the line from the original carol and then think of some stuff you've bought via Silky that sounds like it) and if you post always add your line to the top of the 'days of Christmas' already posted so we can all have a jolly run-through to the end!
I'm feeling much merrier already and can almost smell the tinsel! Mmmmmm plastic!
Mr anonymous anonymite has won a post of your own!
ReplyDeleteErm...well shucks....*blushes* i dont know what to say Funky, *ahem* I'd like to thank everyone who's worked so hard behind the scenes! And to all the readers here you're just amazing!
ReplyDeleteyeah that's all the world needs is yet another outlet for Banksy adulation/speculation. I won't be suprised when someone starts what will Banksy have for christmas dinner thread that'll go "Oh well with his well honed witty satire he must dine on a swan stuffed with Di faced tenners".
ReplyDeleteI actually used to quite like Banksy but the endless amount of pointless guff that emanates forth from the lips and keyboards of his fans and PR team (both one and the same) has expunged any fondness I used to hold.
As for the Banksy's Forum the name did ostracise a large portion of potential posters and then Jax finished the job with her one woman wEinery and the sour grapes that resulted.
Some of the people on those forums would send out a twitter alert every time Banksy farted or picked his nose if they could. They're really not very well in the head.
ReplyDeleteYep but I think you'll find they're just as likely to twatter with their predictions on when Banksy's backdoor release will drop and what flavour, and sound it'll make on exit.
ReplyDeleteStill got the Urban Art Awards to look forward to. Who really does give a shit apart from that freaky looking fucker
ReplyDeleteHow about BIGGEST FUCKING PRICK on a forum award I nominate
Fragile
I see the boring old .info codger has slipped straight back into being a blithering old git who rambles pointless shit on every thread.
ReplyDeletezzzzzzz
It's got to be Mother Theresa Nuart for me, the cunt self promotes like he's Silky on PCP.
ReplyDeleteHahhah I was going to mention Fragile and his sly winkery. I would bet on his twitter he'd say he's got an exclusive whiff of Banky's new release and is now holding his breath to keep it in but if you massage his ego long time he'll blow a waft of it up your nose.
ReplyDeleteOr most likely not.
Printease...
Eddie dangerous....sarf lunden plastic gangster banksy bum tonguing caaaahnt
ReplyDeleteAnyone who uses the phrase "Mr B." It instantly designates them as a knob.
ReplyDeletewhen the locusts finally realise their greedy felching has finally dried the arse out of the 'street art scene' and finally decided to use what little energy they have left to move on to the next ' hot ticket ' .. then and only then will the pulse of protest art start to recover. then and only then will be there be anything worth seeing and anything worth saying..
ReplyDeletelong live 'street art is dead'
MrE
when the locusts finally realise their greedy felching has finally dried the arse out of the 'street art scene' and finally decided to use what little energy they have left to move on to the next ' hot ticket ' .. then and only then will the pulse of protest art start to recover. then and only then will be there be anything worth seeing and anything worth saying..
ReplyDeletelong live 'street art is dead'
MrE
Vandalog and Gaia bukkake? You are closer to the truth and the truth hurts! Lol...
ReplyDeletestreet art is dead is a forum for people to bitch about forums and all that use and read them.
ReplyDeletequite ironic really
Who?
ReplyDeleteNever heard of him...
wallkandy, wallkandy... set up a forum, get everyone to contribute stories, show their photos etc, then nick the whole lot, become a gallerys lapdog photographer and set up a blog printing the same shit like the 1000 of other blogs doing the same old street art thing. Genius!
ReplyDeleteI wish Ian would suck my cox too!