Thursday, December 9, 2010

You Say Jump

A strange calm has fallen over Funk Towers in the last few days, maybe it's the diazepam I've been lacing Mrs Funky's tea with or maybe it's witnessing all the recent clamour for a Banksy and the steady realisation of  the 'general misguided' what a fucking joke this has all become?

It's the diazepam I know I know.

Everything leads to a product for sale, hanging out the window as bait to get your pounds in the front door. It's not controversial, it's not thought provoking, it's not a protest, it's not questioning authority, it's not even a picture to make you smile on the street in the piss stained alley opposite the fine art gallery where Ronnie Wood's son pretends to be cool (because money is cool innit?), it's purely a marketing technique. With pound signs as Christmas decorations.

What does the print mean to you when you stop to think? Is it purely because it's a Banksy and peer pressure makes you want it? Is it purely because 450 pounds can become 2000 pounds in a day?

Your new 'shop counter' culture premise to frequent when you need an injection of hipness and profit, the perfect capitalist machine.

35 comments:

  1. face it Funky, people are idiots
    I hate them
    but I'm one of them, so also an idiot

    but hey, we're all gonna die out in a few hundred years, and the weird mutant fish-cows that populate the earth when we're gone will just eat all the mulched up radioactive printed matter to make neon milk for their tadpole-calves to suckle, shitting it out to fertalise the nuclear spunk flowers that will cover the slag heaps of humanity

    the question is, do you become the idiot who buys the £450 print and hangs it on his wall to stare blankly at, or do you become the idiot who buys it to then sell it again for a profit, only to spend the profit on some other useless shit like surround sound for your alarm clock. Or do you opt out all together and become obsessed with something entirely different, like vintage bicycle bells.

    everyone is obsessed with something pointless. there would be no art without that fact


    forget it all for Christmas, and let your only disappointment be that you didn't get any limited edition socks from www.soxinabox.de/en/ from Santa

    x

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  2. Well said Funky. Banksy is a greedy parasitical cunt who steals all of his ideas from other artists, and his followers are a bunch of intellectually subnormal pricks. The sooner this tired old marketing gimmick dies the better. Can't be long now surely, it's already gone well past it's best before date and is stinking the place out worse than a pair of Jax's knickers.

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  3. What's really amazing is how Banksy/POW managed to convince so many mugs that spending £450 on a piece of paper is some kind of rebellious act. It really is the ultimate refinement in the field of psychological consumer manipulation...persuade the masses to eat a bullshit sandwich and make them feel so grateful for being allowed to do so that they'll tug their forelock and beg for more.

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  4. ^what I think is more amazing is how these mugs whom banksy/pow have brainwashed into spending £450 on a piece of paper as a rebellious act have now realised they can sell them almost instantly for £1450+

    Now, where's that bullshit sandwich?

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  5. You make it sound like they're doing you a favour. They still rake it in, and all the re-selling just adds to the hype. It's priceless advertising. Then all the other mugs who buy on ebay get ripped off three times as much.

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  6. All this buying and selling bullshit makes me want to fucking puke. Honestly, I've only been into the scene for 18 months or so and I'm already sick to the back teeth of it. I've fucked off all the Banksy prints that I lapped up a year or so ago after realisng that they were actually pretty fucking lousey.

    Banksy is a money grabbing fuck face an no longer even registers on my list of interests.

    Now all I have in my life is calling that tory cunt man titties dude. I may just kill myself.

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  7. ^do it, no one here will care about you or your pointless life

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  8. I agree, DO IT! You fucking oxygen thief. But give us a webcam link first so that we can all watch it and have a laugh.

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  9. Oh please don't, you'll hurt my feelings you anonymous internet cowards.

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  10. lol. well said Dave The Chimp.. best post for sometime

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  11. Great post Dave, did make me laugh.

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  12. ...surround sound for your alarm clock!
    First class Dave *

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  13. Surround sound for your alarm clock
    The chimpmeister strikes again

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  14. Went down to the queue last night. What a fucking shambles, people physically attacking each other up over a piece of paper. I left in the end, the prospect of earning a grand isn't worth risking your safety for. Some of the most disgustingly venal scenes I've witnessed for a long while. People have been seriously hurt, all so that the hype machine can keep rolling on. All of this hunger for publicity is going to be their downfall though...they created a monster that they couldn't control and now it's gonna gome back and rip they're throat out. Banksy...you sir, are a CUNT!!!!

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  15. any1 wanna buy my banksy 'choose your weapon' ...? ... at cost

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  16. Nah, I'll give you £10k for it though!

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  17. Funny how it's only idiots in the queue complaining bout other idiots in the queue..as for the violence. No worse than your average January sale. Bunch of pussies.

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  18. Yeah, and you're an idiot on the internet complaining about idiots in the queue complaining about other idiots. So that makes you an idiot to the power of 3.

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  19. To the person calling us pussies...who exactly would you expect to complain about people in the queue then, if not the other people who were in the queue? A housewife in Belgium? A government official in South America? A Japanese monk? A Cambodian peasant farmer? A fucking Eskimo???

    Of course the people in the queue are gonna be pissed off if they got fucked over, so it makes sense that they're the ones complaining about it, rather than other people who weren't even there or didn't even know anything about it.

    I think you need to try to apply at least the most basic semblance of logic to your statements, otherwise you end up looking like a silly cunt.

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  20. note to the whingers in the queue :
    are you men or are you mice ? grows some hair on those tiny dangling useless glands you call your balls.. for fucks sake.

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  21. Note to the whinger whinging about whingers...change your stinking fishy knickers and pluck your hairy nipples.

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  22. I see Silky is youtube spamming under his Sten and Lex guise again. What does it say about a person that they have to pose as artists to bump up click through traffic on your own site?

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  23. Silky is a fucking idiot

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  24. Silky bought the domain to 'fuckingidiot.com' and 'stupidcunt.com' and 'imanuglydogwithanugliergirlfriend.com'
    He's coining it in!

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  25. so sad not to get at cost. now i'll have to diversify my portfolio to ensure some short term gain for me and long term misery for those who lives are wrecked by the whims of the stock market.

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  26. AMB says.....Nice to see some high and mighty .info members like curiousgeorge get called out for pushing their way into BOTH queues to get a Banksy or two.

    Fucking disgraceful hypocrites.

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  27. And just you wait to see how many will be so sad to have to sell them in the New Year
    An average print that has been hyped to the max
    Tossers

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  28. Oh sniff sniff, my girlfriend's sisters pet fucking monkey doesn't like this print so sadly I'm being forced to sell it for a £6.5k profit.

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  29. I'll buy the monkey

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  30. i joined the queue 20 mins before the security started giving out tickets. i went straight to the from and got my ticket .. then held out my other hand and got a second ticket.
    its called survival of the fittest.

    fucking useless pieces of shit the lot of them.

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  31. all good for silky when he gets his ebay slice for advertising the flipping at the top of his forum. Flippers are a revenue stream and he luvs them.

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  32. And just you wait to see how many will be so sad to have to sell them in the New Year
    An average print that has been hyped to the max
    Tossers

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  33. Silky is a fucking idiot

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  34. ...surround sound for your alarm clock!
    First class Dave *

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  35. ^what I think is more amazing is how these mugs whom banksy/pow have brainwashed into spending £450 on a piece of paper as a rebellious act have now realised they can sell them almost instantly for £1450+

    Now, where's that bullshit sandwich?

    ReplyDelete

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