Far far away, hidden amongst the snow capped mountains of Milton Keynes lies Funk Towers the last bastion of sanity in this truly fucked up world. In the furthest darkest corner sits Dr Funky quietly contemplating the last few days.
Last Saturday saw the release of 'Choose Your Weapon' in 20 colours, reminiscent of the soup cans in nature although actions surrounding their sale hugely different. 8 colours at Pow HQ, 3 colours at marks & stencils, 3 colours for under the counter / rich clientele' and 4 colours online. Then the mayhem began.
Cutting through all the pages of bullshit excreted by a number of truly sorry cunts on the Internet, the truth lies this way -
Pow thought emailing information at 10pm Friday night would stop people from queuing. This was scuppered by queuing already starting at Marks & Stencils prior to this and this queue not being dispersed or informed. Once the email was out, this queue speeded to Commercial St, to be met by a long queue already in place? It's easy to conclude people had been made aware of this prior to the email. This queue was not policed until the next morning by security who gave out tickets to those holding out their hand the closest to them with little thought for a long queue . The lack of security and record of place in queue led to pushing in, fights and bullshit. Those left out were told to go to marks & stencils for another release - emergency measure?
So, Pow fucked up.
Simply following a similar release 'plan' to last years 'new ball games' would have meant those queuing in the evening would have received a ticket, that could have been exchanged at regular intervals prior to receiving your print the next morning. Getting security to come earlier and police the queue would have stopped any violence.
On top of this you have a breed of man purchasing this print known as homo-chicken-shit-coward-weasal-sapien, who are not only considerably weaker than normal men, but also bleat and moan like a woman in the middle of giving birth to triplets. The events of that 24hours have given these homo-chicken-shit-coward-weasal-sapiens the perfect excuse to exercise their inbred inability to stand tall to the full extent that the Internet will allow them. It has also seen some truly good fudge tunnel licking action from pictures on walls supporters who should just shut the fuck up when there clearly has been mistakes made.
What has been learnt? Pull out that Internet connection, walk out into the big dark world and become a fucking man.
It says it all when a thread about a piece of paper is comprised of 100's of pages of guff, massively dwarfing the original bleatings in response to the original street advert.
ReplyDeleteHere's a system I propose for any future releases. Simply hire a muck spreader, place it alongside the queue and fling forth the contents of the local sewer showering the cringeing fan boys and the flipper's hired hands equally.
Anyone left standing after 12 hours of constant drenching will truly have earned their chance to illict cash or envy from their fellow "man" and they can truly relate to a rat at the end of their ordeal.
Agree with most of what you say Funky, but I don't feel the people who didn't want to jump the queue or threaten/use violence should be thought of as weak. Just more civilised and less desperate perhaps. I went down there for about an hour, saw it turning ugly and left, because I really don't need to earn a grand that badly to go through that shit. But I can understand how people who were there all night would feel aggrieved if they had a place in the queue and were shoved aside by what were basically gangs. Say what you like, but if you're there on your own then it's not so easy standing up to groups of 5 or 6 big geezers.
ReplyDeleteThe level of bleating has been so deafening, that any feelings of sorrow for these individuals has been replaced by a feeling of sorrow for the parents of such pathetic specimens of mankind.
ReplyDeleteI was going to let you all know that I never managed to get one of these prints despite me living across the road and it being well within my rights as a member of the upper classes but then i realised that funky lives in Milton Keynes. Urgh, you must be very poor
ReplyDeletenews just in whining bitches will get their own special colourway, signed in tears of sorrow by Banksy
ReplyDeleteOne of the more amusing bleatings of the disposessed defenders of POW are those believing POW suddenly chose to release the prints at the last minute because there were a few people hanging around outside the shop. I know at least 2 separate people who were tipped off well before the release by the one and only Simon 'piss up in a brewery' Durban. And that's a FACT.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who queues in the freezing weather to save some money/make some easy money, is a complete frickin idiot who deserves whatever pain they go through. I really can't believe people stand in line in the streets to buy a Banksy print, and find it even more unbelievable that people are crying about the fact bullies pushed in. ah. didums. can I recommend that, before the next Banksy release, all the cry babies spend some time in Italian airports. Those Italian fuckers are complete ass-holes when it comes to queing (or not queing as is usually the case) so it'll help y'all toughen the fuck up!!!
ReplyDeleteNo offense to Italians, I know some very nice ones, but you're a bunch of dicks in any situation that involves a queue.
Anyway, what about Banksy giving the proceeds from this print to some jailed Russian artists that throw cats at McDonalds employees? Much more interesting topic.
And Funky lives in MK? Respect! I thought the miserable cunt lived in Hackney ;-)
Glad you're finally back Funky... was getting boring watching RJ sucking off Deitch over on Spangelog!
oh, and I know it's a long way from MK, but what the hell was all that Miami business about? I haven't seen such a load of pointless and uninteresting murals for, like, ever!
ReplyDeleteOr since Gambia rather.
And I know by saying that I'm "hating" on some of my friends, but really, it was a load of toss (at least, what I saw was)
maybe I expect too much. maybe I expect the coming-together of creative minds to produce more than just the "you do your character here and I'll do my thing here" stuff that I saw. maybe I expect too much from street art, from a generation slowly getting their brains turned to mulch by blogs and twitter and the chemicals in collectable plastic figurines. I know mine is going that way. I'm thinking to ask my neighbour to put a new password on their internet connection so I can't get on at home. maybe I'll start drawing and thinking again.
thank god I didn't get invited to Miami... I probably would have painted some shit like the Vandalog logo falling from the sky and crushing a tree...
actually, that's a pretty good idea for my next print. Start queing you fuckers!!!!!!
Got to agree with the chimp, anyone who queues outside overnight for a consurmer product deserves nothing but scorn. Banksy fanboy's you're no different to those dressed as Orc's and wizards waiting for the new MMORPG or Harry Potter film to drop despite your affected air of smug superiority.
ReplyDeleteyep Turban tipped people off and who knows just HOW MANY tickets were really handed out.
ReplyDeleteBanksy sits at the top of this tree, turban looks up and can only see an asshole barking orders down. wake up you forum twats, banksy owns POW and has the first and last word on every thing that occurs including when and how to get the word out knowing full well how the word spreads, how desperate people are, the lengths they are likely to go to & what the weather is doing that night.
Silky isn't bright enough to even recognise when he's being played.
Well done Banksy you pulled off another master stroke. Give your 'royalties' to some cat chuckers and your front company can keep the profits. Even sort some elite out with a spangly special for even more cash.
priceless
Speaking of the RJ/ Dietch thing, does RJ's brown nosing know no limits? Maybe it's an American thing, but as of late it's frightening to see how easily people are comfortable with their rights being stripped away and violated for the most inconsequential things!
ReplyDeleteA mural getting buffed because Deitch wants to be a good neighbor?! These veterans (as well as any sane minded adult, which believe it or not, still reside in Los Angeles), fought wars to preserved fundamentals like freedom of expression! I think they are capable of dealing with an "offensive" mural.
But anyways, back to the topic at hand, Voina also drew a giant cock and ball on a bridge, Banksy's kicking himself for not thinking of that one first which probably explains the fat donation.
I think that Banksy and POW have scuppered their chances of winning the Urban Art Association awards in their respective categories and if that is the case then i hope they think it was worth it !!!
ReplyDeleteBit too easy really to mock the people queuing, because you lot weren't there and didn't experience what happened with the violence and intimidation. I agree that the people who wanted this print for their wall must have more money than sense, but if you had the chance to queue somewhere local to you overnight and earn a minimum of a grand (probably more like 2) guaranteed profit in return then I bet most of you would take it if you're honest with yourselves.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately this brought out the worst in some people, and it wasn't so much a case of survival of the fittest, but survival of who is the most desperate venal crackhead prepared to stoop the lowest level. Like I said before, I walked away early because to me 1 or 2 grand ain't worth getting beaten or stabbed for, but if somebody is in hardship and really struggling to pay their bills then I don't blame them at all for trying to get this print to sell on to some yuppie stockbroker mug with cash to burn.
It's just like going to do a night's work really...plenty of people have to endure situations they don't enjoy to earn money, and that doesn't make them 'an idiot who deserves pain'. (you really sound like a prick sometimes Dave) But if you've put in your shift then just as you go to collect your pay packet some cunt and his mates shove you out of the way with violence and threats and take what should by rights be yours, then obviously people are gonna be upset.
Yeah, maybe they should 'toughen up' like you say, but I'd like to see what some of you lot would do when confronted by 5 or 6 big blokes who are basically out to fuck you over. Probably shit your pants and do exactly as they say I reckon. Bravado is a cheap and easy thing to spout on the internet, especially if you live hundreds of miles away anyway and didn't have a chance to get down there even if you'd wanted to.
Fuck the lot of them. It's all about dollar. Since when did people queue meekly & quietly to wait there turn for the golden goose. IF you're there to pick up a piece of paper to earn £1500, and someone pushes in as they want it more, then you've got 2 choices. Fight for your money or fuck off. Simple as that. To try and elicit sympathy because people where bullied out of their place by gangs is missing the point. The gangs where there for the same reason as 90% of the people in the queue. Differnece being is they didn;t give a shit about who knew what there motveis were. All the bleating comes from those who don;t want to appear tarred with the profiteering brush.
ReplyDeletewhat honest job pays a grand for two hours standing in the cold? please tell me because I want it!
ReplyDeletethe only people I've ever known who can earn that much for so little work are drug dealers, and frankly, if you're dealing drugs then getting threatened by big geezers goes with the territory!
and I have been beaten up by 6 blokes in the street, and I didn't shit my pants (I didn't go out painting for the next 6 months, but I definately didn't shit my pants!)
damn. about everyone I know in London has been robbed, beaten, threatened with guns, etc. It's an unfortunate side-effect of living in that glorious city. get used to it or move to Milton Keynes!
And I have no problem with you thinking I sound like a prick. Most everybody on here (the internet!) sounds like a prick, including you, but I'm one of the few pricks with the balls to use my name. And frankly paying any attention to someone who doesn't reveal their identity is like paying attention to all the voices in my head! The doctor told me never to do that... it's bad... very bad...
Anyway, for the tiny majority who were there to buy the print to hang on their wall I offer my heart-felt apologies for laughing at your horrible experience. But then of course, as the print you so desperately wanted was already A PAINTING IN THE STREET you could have seen it FOR FREE. Though maybe all those big geezers out in the streets scare you too much. Yes, you made the right move, buy a print of a street piece and then stay home to experience the streets but in safety. For the real experience, stuff a kebab under the sofa then piss in the corner of your room before looking at your reproduction of street art. Ahhh, that London aroma...
oh, and I saw a Remed piece from Miami that I liked. So you'll be glad to know I've called off the missile strike...
g'night my loves x
Yeah, it's all about the dollar, I completely admit that. I thought the print was shit and I don't even like Banksy, but I'm not gonna turn down the chance of 2 grand for a night's work.
ReplyDeleteBut just because you're trying to earn money out of being there doesn't mean that all kind of respect for humanity should go out of the window and you should have to shit all over people to get what you want.
If you really believe in that kind of 'law of the jungle' should be in effect then we might as well just all go out and take whatever we want from weaker people by the use of force. Is that really the sort of society you want to live in?
@Dave...standing in the queue for 12 hours (not 2) is a completely legal way of making money, and nothing to do with drug dealing, so you're talking fucking vast amounts of irrelevant shit again. And yeah, I've been robbed etc, I've even seen someone murdered. We all know very well how violent London can be and we don't need you to try to justify it like it's something we should have to accept.
You like to slag of Vandalog for his unthinking juvenile statements, but the childish nonsense you continually spout is far more moronic than anything he's ever said. Plus you bleat on about how you use your real name on here, as if that somehow makes you superior, but in reality it's all about your massive ego and desire to be seen as some kind of street art guru. Face it mate...you're not. You're just an opinionated bitter little muppet with very little talent who paints a few shitty cartoon shapes on walls and makes himself look like a complete cunt everytime he opens his mouth.
Carry on though mate...it's quite amusing watching someone pontificate and be so full of themselves, without the self awareness to realise how they appear to others. You remind me of that little curly haired kid in a suit and bow tie who used to be on the Wogan show back in the 80's as an 'antique expert', or a young William Hague...a 'know it all' show-off who everybody either feels embarrassed for, or else laughs at with derision.
Daves awright mate, so fuck off you tory scumbag big man titties! Lol
ReplyDeleteThere you go Dave, you've got a fan! Life's not so depressing after all.
ReplyDeleteOk, so it's the most retarded person on here, who keeps repeating the same 2 boring insults like a stuck record of a gibbering mong, but hey...I suppose you've gotta be grateful for whatever you can get!
Choose your weapon? Great! The survival of the fittest gets the print! Great! Next time Banksy holds a queue up print, I'm gonna hire 50 flat nosed knuckleheads to jump in just before open hours. £200K easy!
ReplyDeleteChoose your weapon!
all you sad moaning fucks we got a print for you - we're almost as pathetic as you are
ReplyDeleteDurban's a knob, Cushing's a knob, Banksy's a knob, Dora's a fit knob, they're all knobs, but the biggest knobs of all are the knobs that don't realise they're being taken for a ride.
ReplyDeleteDurban's a knob, Cushing's a knob, Banksy's a knob, Dora's a fit knob, they're all knobs, but the biggest knobs of all are the knobs that don't realise they're being taken for a ride.
ReplyDeleteI think that Banksy and POW have scuppered their chances of winning the Urban Art Association awards in their respective categories and if that is the case then i hope they think it was worth it !!!
ReplyDeleteGot to agree with the chimp, anyone who queues outside overnight for a consurmer product deserves nothing but scorn. Banksy fanboy's you're no different to those dressed as Orc's and wizards waiting for the new MMORPG or Harry Potter film to drop despite your affected air of smug superiority.
ReplyDelete